Happy New Year! 2012 brought its share of joys and sorrows to many of us and filled itself with endless possibilities and it always astonishes me when seemingly overnight , it’s a new year. A new day. A new beginning. A chance to do something amazing still lies ahead as the road is unpaved and we can choose so many different paths.
Our lives have changed a great deal over the past year and as I look ahead to even the next month, we are in for enormous change as our Au Pair from South Africa joins us mid month and I begin the search for who I’ll become in this next chapter of my life.
For 2 1/2 years, I have been a Stay at Home Mom and loved it. I have been so incredibly lucky to watch Conor grow from a jubilant and very curious toddler to a young independent boy who loves to laugh, be outdoors and is quickly becoming a Lego genius, in his own right. To have experienced life through Ada’s eyes has been remarkable; for she lives in the moment and has such a fierceness and love for life at such a young age, it’s going to be amazing watching her grow into a young woman. And to see Phoenix, with his mischievous smile and rambunctious nature become a toddler and a little person has been magnificent. I think his Dad’s shoes won’t be too hard to follow for this little guy who knows how to mesmerize his siblings, laugh and already rocks the soccer ball.
Being a Stay at Home Mom has allowed me the amazing experience of being able to meet phenomenal women in this town we call home through the organization I am Co-President of. So many of these women deserve non-stop standing ovations and I am humbled to call many my friends. You know those Moms whose husbands are off to work before the kids get up and don’t get home until after they’ve gone to bed. They amaze me.
14 hours a day of being ON with kids is hard and although a good 70% of the time, it’s fun and we all love it. The other 30% is a struggle and for me, I struggled to be a good Mom and to not over-multi-task, which honestly I have a BIG problem with. I find myself trying to accomplish a gazillion things in a short amount of time and many times saying, “Ok, 5 more minutes”, 5 times, before I walk away from the computer or whatever else I may be doing. Just being a Mom and entertaining the kids and being everything to the kids is hard and I envy and think it’s truly amazing the Moms that can do this and do DO it.
Since I’ve started interviewing and talking with people in the workforce, I have noticed a certain disdain from people who realize I’ve been home with my children (and mind you for only 2.5 years) and I think to myself it’s crazy that I have to portray that I haven’t liked being at home and it’s so boring or that it’s just not enough…I need MORE. Frankly, being a Stay at Home Mom is harder than ANY job out there and people who think less of Moms going back into the workforce really don’t understand the force they are reckoning with.
When Conor told me he was going to be upset about me going back to work, I said “Conor, I am going to be a better Mommy to you three working outside the home. I promise you. When I am home – I am home for you and Ada and Phoenix (and Daddy) and I won’t say ‘5 more minutes please’ over and over. I will be in the now when we are together.” I’ve realized how important this is for them and for me, for even though I have been home, I’ve never been 100% home. I’ve always kept myself busy with marketing projects, writing, and trying to keep my identity outside of being just a Mom and at times it’s been a hard trade-off. For me, I don’t think I could not do anything else. I love being co-President of our local Mother’s Group and I enjoy brainstorming about marketing and sales ideas with friends & local business owners. It’s who I am, but it hasn’t come without a price.
Here’s to 2013 and all it brings. May it bring you joy and happiness and a sense of peace. There may be things in your own life that you want to change or do and perhaps this is the year to do it. Some of those things may be easy and some may be hard…for the hard, I always tell myself to put one foot in front of the other and look ahead toward the horizon and my end goal and no matter how scared or nervous I may be inside, to only show the world my bright smile and before I know it, I’ve accomplished something I wasn’t sure I could.
My goals for 2013:
- Find the perfect job
- Finish Tough Mudder in May (with Kerrie!!!)
- Launch an annual 5K this year to benefit Ovarian Cancer research in support of my beloved Aunt Tracy
- Enjoy my 2nd term as Co-President of LexFUN!
- Welcome Monique into our life and family as our Au Pair!
- Be a better Mommy and Partner to my beautiful and amazing family
Happy New Year!
Xoxo, Burban Momma